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Do you know an online dater? You might think the answer is no, but more and more the odds are that you do. The reality is though that most people are too embarrassed to admit that they are using the internet to find dates. For years now, there has been a certain social stigmatism attached to dating through the internet. People continue to think of online dating sites as scams, pornography, and a waste of time. But the reality is that thousands of people have found real romance online, and more continue to every day. But how many of them actually admit to their friends and family that online dating is how they met their current date?
Online dating firms have sprung up all over the internet, and in fact some of them are scams. The reality of any internet dating site is that it is only successful if it has membership. The larger the member base, the better the chance of finding a compatible match. Most sites use filtering criteria to try and pair people together based on key points of interest. Beyond that, some sites actually use personality tests to try and match their clients. How is this any worse than meeting a guy at a bar?
Some analysts theorize that the real reason for the snobbery against online dating is the impersonal aspect of it. You often “meet” and have “conversations” with a potential date through email and chat long before you actually talk on the phone. Critics contend that you can’t really learn anything about a person through such a sterile medium. The reality is that in many cases people are more comfortable getting to know each other through the semi-anonymous nature of the internet. Online datingadvantagess from that anonymity.
So should you tell your friends and family? Frankly, if it’s working for you why not? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Internet dating is a real, viable alternative. And the sooner the rest of your social group accepts it, the better for you and for everyone who finds happiness through a keyboard.
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An issue that many take too casually when setting up their online dating profile is their username. The main goal you have when choosing your name is to make it as memorable as possible, just like you’re actual profile. Your goal is to sell yourself, and part of the sale is developing the proper sales pitch.
Let’s first address your real name. You love your real name, and you’ve most likely taken great pains to make it memorable and respected. For many, your name brings instant creditability in your profession. But when it comes to the internet, do not post your real name. It’s an issue of security, and it’s just not smart.
If you’re stuck on using your name, you can, but use variations of it. Piece it together with activities that you like to do, adjectives that apply to you, or nicknames you’ve used before. For example, my name is Jim McMenamin. Some variations that I could use would be McJim, JimmyMac, JimSkis, or SlimJim.
Here are a few other suggestions for you:
-Include another personal tidbit about yourself. For example, a Penn St. graduate might pick a name like PennStJim. If you’re from Philadelphia, it could be PhillyJim.
-When you start stringing together names use proper capitalization. What I mean is to capitalize each word in the name. It highlights what you’re trying to portray. Which one sticks out more, gymqueen or GymQueen?
-Avoid using too many numbers. People will remember CutieSue, but they may have trouble remembering if you’re CutieSue1990.
-Use a name from a book, movie, or show that you really enjoyed.
-Take a word that you like, for example Queen, and go to a website like Babelfish to translate it into another language. Odds are the name Queen will already be taken when you register, but there’s a good chance that the name Reine (French translation) will be available.
One last point to address is names that come with sexual innuendo. This is a tricky point, and it really depends on the site you’re using and the people that you’re hoping to meet.
Let’s take a simple name like SexKitten. This is very site specific as to how well it will work. If you’re registering at an adult dating site, then this name is more than appropriate; however, if you’re at a Christian dating site, odds are this won’t cut it.
If you choose to stick with SexKitten, you need to be careful at moderate sites, which have people looking for both short term and long term relationships. When someone views that name, they will have a preconceived notion of what you’re looking for. (Let me give you a hint, it’s not a long term relationship.) Just remember, sometimes you get what you ask for.
Don’t just rush to slap up a name when you register. This is a fun step in the process, and it helps to stamp the uniqueness of your profile. Get away from your straight laced 9-5 job, and enjoy your alter ego.
Jim McMenamin is the webmaster and creator of MacsDatingSite.com, a blog dedicated to the various issues of online dating. For a limited time, Jim is giving away two free eBooks, 10 Tips To Writing Your Online Dating Profile as well as 101 Steps To A Happy Relationship, when you sign up for his newsletter.